


why would it matter?

by vandenburg



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, it's just a little simple thing, post ep 92, written before watching ep 93
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22605295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vandenburg/pseuds/vandenburg
Summary: After a rough evening at the Lionett estate, the Nein retreat to a nearby tavern. Here, Beau sees a familiar face. Jester is upset.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Tori, Jester Lavorre & Nott, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 6
Kudos: 154





	why would it matter?

**Author's Note:**

> i can have a little almost canon-compliant jealous jester. as a treat.

It has been almost three years, but Beau recognizes her as soon as they cross the threshold. Regardless, she tells herself that her eyes must be messing with her; they're swollen and red after what feels like hours of crying. And while Fjord leads the way to talk to the innkeeper about rooms for the night, Beau just continues to stare.

She looks the same, except maybe she's been eating a little better, because her weight used to be concerning and now she looks healthily rounded. Her dark hair is tied up in a messy bun, not unlike Beau's own, though she still has no undercut. Dressed in simple clothing, she carries ale to a table occupied by a party of three men, all of which ogle her in a way that makes Beau's muscles tense.

She looks good.

"Who's that?" Jester whispers, close to her ear, and a hand grasps Beau's arm, nails poking her skin just a little. "Is she an asshole too?"

"No," Beau hears herself say. "No, she's an old friend, actually." Even though Jester's hand is on her arm and Jester's breath is on her neck, Beau continues to stare solemnly at her past.

Despite not looking, she can tell that Jester is taking in the woman as well. "It's Tori, isn't it?"

"Yeah." There's no sense in lying to Jester.

"Do you wanna talk to her?"

That pathetic selfishness that possesses Beau in moments like this one, such as when she kissed Reani, makes her ask, "Will you come with me?"

And she feels like a garbage person when Jester answers, "Of course," and squeezes her arm.

They break off from the group and approach Tori as she is wandering the barroom floor, collecting abandoned cups. Once they are within her periphery, she looks up. Her eyes meet Beau's. They are that dark, dark brown color that Beau has missed.

Contrary to Beau's fears, Tori breaks into a large grin and stashes her tray on a nearby table. Then she flings herself at Beau's neck, pulling her into a tight hug. She smells exactly like she did before, and Beau succumbs fully to the warmth, closing her eyes and breathing Tori in.

Then Tori pulls away, hands still on Beau's upper arms. "Beau, you asshole, where've you been?"

Beau smiles even though she feels emotionally drained. Honestly, Tori deserves more than the state Beau is in right now. "Monastery, kinda got kicked out and dragged to Zadash after… everything. Sorry about that, my dad–"

"I heard what your dad did. Don't worry about it, it's not your fault. Honestly, I think I'd've preferred prison anyway. Wasn't great, but I learned a thing or two."

"So did I."

"Yeah, she's, like, really strong and awesome now," Jester pipes in, reminding Beau of her presence. It's odd, usually Beau is hyper-aware of Jester, but right now she is entirely preoccupied by Tori, whose dark eyes are shining with joy.

Those eyes flicker to look at Jester, and Tori drops her hands. "Sorry, that's rude of me – I'm Tori." She offers a hand to shake.

"Jester Lavorre," Jester says as she pointedly does not shake Tori's hand, but places her own in Tori's in a way that a lady would offer her hand to a knight to be kissed. "Daughter of the Ruby of the Sea and also of the Gentleman of Zadash."

Beau is not sure what Jester is trying to do, but it is always a bit of a guessing game when it comes to Jester, and Beau finds it funny, so she doesn't question it too hard. Tori slowly shakes Jester's hand, and returns her attention to Beau.

“Listen, I can’t really talk right now, but my shift will be over in two hours. Come back downstairs then, the asshole behind the bar owes me a favor.”

Glancing over her shoulder, Beau sees Fjord exchange some coin with the barkeep. It would seem they have decided to stay here for the night. She looks back at Tori. “Alright, I’ll see you then.”

Tori reaches out and squeezes Beau’s shoulder. “I’ve missed you.”

Beau feels herself smiling. “Missed you too. Now go, before you get yourself fired.”

Picking up her tray, Tori shoots Beau a wink. Just like in the old days, that wink makes Beau’s heart jump. “See you later,” Tori says as she walks past Beau, squeezing her arm one last time.

They stand in silence for a moment. “She seems nice,” Jester finally says. “Not really what I thought your type was, I mean, you could totally do a lot better is what I’m saying, but I guess she’s nice enough.”

As much as Jester is a good liar, Beau can also pretty easily tell when Jester is put off by somebody. It isn’t necessarily surprising or disappointing; Tori isn’t everybody’s cup of tea. That’s kinda why Beau was drawn to her in the first place.

“The first woman I ever fell in love with,” she says without really meaning to.

Jester hums quietly. “Well, if you love her, then I guess I’ll have to love her too.”

It is so endearing when Jester says things like that. There is no question that she means it, truly, but she still sounds a little grumpy about it. Beau smiles to herself. “It’s okay, you don’t have to, you probably won’t see her again.”

“Hm… Let’s go see if the others got us some good rooms.”

***

“What do you think they’re doing?”

The dick is taking shape nicely. Jester is carving good, smooth lines into the wood of her bed, using one of Nott’s daggers.

From the floor, where she is examining a few chemicals (just in case they have curse-breaking properties), Nott says, “Who?”

“Beau and Tori, what do you think they’re doing?” A nice, long vein completes the picture. She begins another one, not too far from the first.

Nott gulps a few mouthfuls of flask-alcohol and wipes her mouth on her sleeve. “I don’t know, making out, I guess?”

That is what Jester fears. She pauses her art-making and looks thoughtfully at the (literal) dickhead. “You think so?”

“I mean, probably, right? That’s what you do when you reunite with an old  _ lover _ .”

“I don’t know, I think they’re probably just talking,” Jester tells both Nott and herself.

Nott clicks her tongue. “ _ Well _ , you know how Beau is with the ladies, she’s kinda got a habit.”

Suddenly, Jester is compelled to look very closely at the dick and continue her carving, even more carefully this time. This one won’t have just  _ one _ vein.

“You know,” Nott adds, “if you want me to go spy on them, I can. I’m pretty stealthy.”

As much as Jester would love to get some peace of mind, it does not feel right to spy on Beau. Especially not after the day she has had. “No, don’t do that. She’s had a bad day, I don’t want her to feel like we don’t trust her or something.”

“Okay,” Nott concedes, using her special, soft voice reserved for serious situations when she wants to assure people that she will not do crazy things. “Would it matter, though, if Beau was kissing her?”

The dagger digs into the wood. It scrapes around. Wounds are created. “I don’t know.”

“Why would it matter?”

Because Beau is Jester’s friend! Because Beau has had a bad day and Jester doesn’t want her to make things worse by talking to an ex. Because Jester is concerned about Beau and she wants to always know what she’s doing, in case she needs a healing hand.

Tiny hairs are added to her craving, through deft flicks of the wrist.

“I don’t know.”

***

At the end of the night, Beau considers inviting Tori up to her room. Well,  _ a _ room; they’d have to use another one than the one Jester is sleeping in. It would be like the good old days when they had just discovered each other’s bodies and were eager to give each other whatever they could, passionately and excitedly. They are both single. It could easily happen.

But, even though she would love to be rid of these frustrating feelings, Jester’s is still the face Beau sees when she closes her eyes, before sleep takes her. To fool around with Tori would be to betray those feelings.

So she says goodnight without extending an invitation, and retreats to her and Jester’s room.

When she walks in, she is surprised to see Jester still awake, doodling in her journal.

“Hey. You’re still up.”

Jester looks up, then quickly down. There is an unreadable expression on her face, which is worrying, because Beau considers herself fairly good at reading Jester.

“Yah. How was your date with Tori?” The name is delivered with a hint of acid.

After the interaction with Beau’s dad, Jester is probably wary of everyone else from Beau’s past. But there is no reason for her to worry. “Fine,” she says, not denying that it was a date. She flops down on her bed and kicks off her boots. “Not very remarkable, honestly. We just talked about the good old days.”

“Oh, sure, you ‘ _ just talked _ ’.” It is not out of the ordinary for Jester to assume that everyone is fucking everyone, but normally she sounds more…jovial about it. Right now, she just sounds hurt.

“Wasn’t really in the mood for anything else,” Beau says, trying to change the atmosphere, even though she is unsure why Jester is upset.

Jester just hums.

It doesn’t seem like Beau will be able to help Jester’s mood much. She hates seeing Jester like this, and if she had even an ounce of energy left, perhaps she would ask what is wrong. But Beau is exhausted. She can’t deal with this right now.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, she will ask Jester what has upset her. Beau promises herself that.


End file.
